Performance reviews coming up? Here’s how to give stress free feedback

Read Time: 4 mins

Over the past 20 years, I have trained and mentored hundreds of people in management and leadership positions. And without question, the thing that most of them find most difficult is giving feedback, and especially in the context of a performance review.

No longer having to take part in the annual performance review process is one of the benefits of being a consultant for me, so I do appreciate how stressful they can be. But even for a consultant, waiting until the end of an assignment is not a great way to know whether you have met your performance objectives, so I also understand how important it is to receive feedback regularly.

Performance reviews are tough for everyone. Giving corrective feedback can be uncomfortable and receiving corrective feedback can be uncomfortable.

But critical to building a high performing team is that individuals understand what is expected of them and whether they are meeting those expectations. Researchers Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer have shown that a sense of progress is the most powerful motivator in the workplace, even stronger than personal recognition or pay.

So how do you offer constructive feedback so that is heard and acted upon?

 Why is giving feedback so difficult?

Most managers involve their team in decision making, as much as they are able, and aim to develop a culture of mutual respect and collaboration. But this cultural quality can mean that sometimes managers are afraid to give feedback because they are worried about the other person’s reaction – and that they might not know how to manage it. What if they cry? Or get angry or defensive? Or they blame me? Many managers also worry that they won’t know what to say or how to frame the feedback constructively.

Giving and receiving feedback can cause real physiological, emotional and cognitive responses, including increased heart rate, heightened blood pressure, anger, aggression, fear and anxiety.

 But short term pain can prevent further consequences. I’ve seen plenty of people lose or leave their jobs, not because they don’t have the capability, but because they haven’t been given the right direction early enough. Most workers would rather be doing their job well.

So what can you do?

I like the SCARF model. It says that when you give feedback, you risk threatening five elements of social situations that all need to be addressed: status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness and fairness.

Reduce the status threat

Status is a person’s relative importance to others. If their status is threatened they may feel like they are being spoken down to, undermined or patronised.

To reduce the status threat, listen first and invite them to give themselves feedback on their performance: ‘How do you think that went? How might you do it better next time?’. Then start by affirming the things that the person is good at before you launch into corrective feedback.

Reduce the certainty threat

Certainty concerns the future, and how predictable or secure it is. At its worst, threatened certainty may be a fear of being retrenched, demoted or even fired.

The best way to increase certainty is to establish clear expectations. While expectations would generally be set before a task beginning, you can give feedback during the task to help reduce certainty threat. Remember, the ideal outcome here is for people to feel safe knowing that they are doing what is expected in the current situation, even if the environment remains uncertain.

Reduce the autonomy threat

If someone has autonomy, they have a sense of control over events and they have choices available to them. If feedback is seen as micro managing, it will feel like choices are being taken away.

To reduce the autonomy threat, offer choices as part of your feedback. A threat to autonomy can feel like losing choices. “Here are two options that might work, which do you prefer?”

Reduce the relatedness threat

Relatedness involves deciding whether someone is a friend or a foe. A healthy manager-employee relationship can be damaged if feedback threatens relatedness.

To reduce the relatedness threat, try personally relating to the task at hand “I had to do this last week/last year and I struggled, try this next time it might help.”

Reduce the fairness threat

Some team members, to evaluate whether feedback given to them is fair or not, will look at other employees and the feedback given to them. If a team member feels they are being singled out or treated unfairly their motivation and performance may reduce. For best results, base your feedback on fact, rather than hearsay, assumptions or generalisations.

To reduce the fairness threat make it clear that you are not treating one person differently to another: “Like I just said to Sid…” or “I am talking to the whole team about this…” Focus on behaviours required to support the team, being an equal contributor to results.

Focus on behaviour

While the focus of evaluations is work performance, some managers want to address employee traits like motivation, conscientiousness, attitude and so on. Instead of traits, keep your evaluation focused on two things: behaviours and results.

Behaviours are actions that you can observe directly—she completed the audit, he completed the deliverable, she called on customers, he repaired the online system.

Results are also observable: She achieved her sales quota, he reduced waste by X%, she increased productivity by X amount, he completed his projects on time.

Take care with non verbals

Finally, pay attention to your facial expressions and tone of voice when you deliver feedback. How you say things is just as important as what you’re saying.

Researcher Marie Dasborough studied the effects of delivery on feedback. She observed two groups, one whose members received negative feedback accompanied by positive emotional signals, such as nods and smiles, and one whose members received positive feedback delivered with frowns and narrowed eyes. People who received positive feedback accompanied by negative emotional signals reported feeling worse about their performance than participants who received good-natured negative feedback. The delivery of feedback can often be more important than the message itself.

If you apply some of these simple strategies, you’ll find giving feedback a whole lot less stressful and more productive. If you enjoyed this post and it will help with your productivity, please click the thumbs up icon below and let me know!

Given the COVID-19 pandemic, I am now offering Tele Coaching. If you are using this time to develop a plan or increase your knowledge, skills, and abilities and you think I can assist, then please get in touch at trish@skillandwill.com.au